So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize