I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
