im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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