ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
