some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude. I can hear the air.
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