Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
