Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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