my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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