Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
