Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize