that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
