I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
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I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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