I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize