okay pat passed out under dana's car
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
