I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
