Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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