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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My new storm is the chrons

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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• (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

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• (707): View more from California

  fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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• (347): View more from New York

  We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.

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