Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?

(301): View more from Maryland

Nowhere

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(646): View more from New York

You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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(248): View more from Michigan

My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"

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(619): View more from California

Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.

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