Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Can i come over

  (240): View more from Maryland

  After you called me a desperate slut? No

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Come over

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  (703): Can i come over (240): After you called me a desperate slut? No (240): Come over http://tfl.nu/g0q3
  Replies (10) Good night (4585) Bad night (1490)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (5886) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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  (610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap
  Replies (35) Good night (6381) Bad night (1290)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

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  (920): just left the emergency room. condom extraction. http://tfl.nu/bo1w
  Replies (30) Good night (1078) Bad night (11117)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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  (303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w
  Replies (25) Good night (1373) Bad night (5028)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2590) Bad night (896)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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  (231): I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs http://tfl.nu/sh65
  Replies (17) Good night (1037) Bad night (3126)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.

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  (864): I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/63se
  Replies (4) Good night (1906) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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  (403): Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks (1403): That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills http://tfl.nu/uobi
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (564)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

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  (717): He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again... http://tfl.nu/wz8h
  Replies (8) Good night (756) Bad night (2392)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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  (408): I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty http://tfl.nu/k1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1386) Bad night (2599)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.

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  (724): This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends. http://tfl.nu/8qq1
  Replies (12) Good night (2020) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"

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  (+44): If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine" http://tfl.nu/ib5o
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

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  (505): Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake? http://tfl.nu/87n8
  Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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  (520): That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you. http://tfl.nu/jnah
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (238)

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