If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help