All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels