There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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