ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
