Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
