She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
