So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
