I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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