i may or may not be watching the land before time
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
