We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
As shirtless as possible
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
