My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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