i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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