she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
