We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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