he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
