dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
