I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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