I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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