There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
