Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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