im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
