awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
