there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
