They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
