We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
