so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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