Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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