none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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