I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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