im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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