i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
