you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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