I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
