areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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