I think my fart just growled at me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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