why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize