i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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