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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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