well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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