I just made out with a guy for $7.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my phone needs a breathalizer
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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