if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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