**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wear drunk well.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
