After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
