just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
