All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out