return my video game
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?