Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yo im tryna cop a beej tonight

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  (610): yo im tryna cop a beej tonight http://tfl.nu/fc5c
  Replies (24) Good night (2780) Bad night (937)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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  (970): If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it http://tfl.nu/jxp6
  Replies (16) Good night (6587) Bad night (859)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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  (770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85
  Replies (63) Good night (8234) Bad night (1219)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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  (908): the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father (973): i think girls just don't want to fuck you http://tfl.nu/fr5s
  Replies (31) Good night (2302) Bad night (6254)
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  (707): View more from California

  We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

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  (707): We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday. http://tfl.nu/jjrt
  Replies (23) Good night (3915) Bad night (1094)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  this is something i pride myself on being below average for

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  (920): this is something i pride myself on being below average for http://tfl.nu/tsy8
  Replies (7) Good night (2608) Bad night (1362)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

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  (513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz
  Replies (19) Good night (5439) Bad night (1116)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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  (225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl
  Replies (5) Good night (3259) Bad night (1198)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.

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  (314): I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often. http://tfl.nu/x1ce
  Replies (7) Good night (3326) Bad night (902)
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  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8714) Bad night (1323)
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  (949): View more from California

  Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.

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  (949): Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable. http://tfl.nu/3v7d
  Replies (6) Good night (992) Bad night (1352)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me

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  (425): i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me http://tfl.nu/5vfc
  Replies (5) Good night (1188) Bad night (614)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.

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  (843): I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job. http://tfl.nu/6er2
  Replies (1) Good night (1158) Bad night (487)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.

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  (305): No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night. http://tfl.nu/ytkw
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (623)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour

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  (847): There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour http://tfl.nu/ries
  Replies (0) Good night (699) Bad night (281)

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