just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?