Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No idea how I passed that sobriety test.

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  (248): No idea how I passed that sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/5pip
  Replies (19) Good night (1863) Bad night (573)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (587)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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  (516): Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses. http://tfl.nu/khuc
  Replies (12) Good night (768) Bad night (1882)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms

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  (502): I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms http://tfl.nu/f928
  Replies (30) Good night (636) Bad night (7439)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?

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  (434): because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july? http://tfl.nu/9gcl
  Replies (43) Good night (7059) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.

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  (760): she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse. http://tfl.nu/wf42
  Replies (10) Good night (3434) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (1181) Bad night (2381)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.

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  (708): You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit. http://tfl.nu/hyfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1884) Bad night (1490)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

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  (316): He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him http://tfl.nu/40tq
  Replies (8) Good night (1730) Bad night (1093)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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  (703): From russia with love. But also with chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/1l8f
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (2275)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

  (516): View more from New York

  lol... you weighed it?

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  (631): Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night? (516): lol... you weighed it? http://tfl.nu/fdcm
  Replies (11) Good night (4164) Bad night (909)
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1192) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.

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  (314): So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body. http://tfl.nu/xsc0
  Replies (3) Good night (419) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo

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  (415): Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo http://tfl.nu/pp9q
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon

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  (508): meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon http://tfl.nu/f6jb
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (142)

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