I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
